Since I have been feeling less limited in my wishes for our horse human partnership I have been discovering the true joy of energetic creation. So many ideas have been arriving in my mind. They come when I am feeling good, and they are ways to focus my consciousness. To create in the vibrational realm. We are vibrational beings after all, and genuine creation starts in energy. When you are feeling good, expansive and connected, there is a direct channel into potentiality, and anywhere you choose to settle your awareness will respond and grow beautiful flowers. Flowers of creativity.

Voluntary riding is one of my deepest desires. I know this when I explore this subject deeply, without narrowing the possibilities. What I would love to experience? what I would love to co-create? it is voluntary riding. Voluntary means to act of ones own free will. It would mean therefore, that we come together, horse and human, inside the present moment, fully awake. And in this unconditioned moment, we make a mutual decision, we feel good about it together, we decide to ride today.

This horse wishes to experience being ridden and I choose to experience riding this horse. It has taken us some times.. come to the meaning of this definition. First I released my expectations, and the horses released their conditioning. I became appreciative of what is. Just that in each moment. I began to listen and develop my hearing… am still developing, and always will be…my cognisance of horses.

Their world, their perspective, their opinions and their desires. The horses remembered about having choice, exercising it and discovering that there wasn’t an obligation to please me. That I am happy anyway. And now it is time for me to remember my dreams and understand that the only thing resisting them is me.

I was defining my dream this whole time. That to impose riding on any horse felt empty. I did want to invite a horse, and be with them, and infuse our personalities together. I believe that riding can be therapeutic, for both of us. And when it can be sweetly, profoundly voluntary.. the crest of our mutual, vibrational wave of well-being.. this is my dream. 

These are the energetic exercises, different forms of energetic creativity to explore. The first, obvious one, is to follow the feelings of riding. These come from memory, or imagination, and are expanded by unconditional love. The ideas can be initiated inside your being when you are alone, or even better introduced in the presence of the horses.

The exquisite, upright balance of riding a corner straight.. how the horse’s ribcage melts around your inside leg. Now your outside hand feels drawn softly forward to encourage that larger step of the outside hind-leg to create the bend.

While your spine grows so tall and elegant and your inside hand melts.. and your magnificent horse stretches through her entire spine, lifting and breathing and expanding into the bliss of this shared equilibrium as you step out gracefully into the long side and the whole world is before you… 

Or perhaps you remember the irresistible magic of the canter transition. The slow, potent building of energy.. generated within from quiet, incremental leveraging of your posture. The way your leg seeks deeper under you as your pelvis engages, the way you soften and open your shoulder. The gentle, comfortable, massaging connection between lower leg and horses side which ignites those tiny sparks of electricity and stores extra energy, up and up, held only by the postural integrity between you. Your rein is free and easy, and that precious moment of perfection when the level is reached and the energy bursts out seamlessly into a flowing canter stride which somehow balances you both even more.

It might be that although you wish it not to be, riding holds difficult memories. How then is it possible to work on this marvellous joy infused vibration around riding? One way I discovered when I was in a darkish kind of mood. I was feeling lack more than abundance. I was seeing what was not accomplished rather than appreciating what was there. This day I went out with herd and decided to go into an abundance meditation. I was looking for anything at all that felt inspirational. I thought of the wonderful herd assisted healings we have been exploring recently. The vast potential I feel there, the wonder of inviting a being in, a person or another animal. To focus and feel and translate the incredible unfolding that result in the powerful herd space. 

And expanding out now into all different happy subjects. Developing our permaculture garden, watching the biodiversity arriving, eating lunch soon (how much I love food 🙂 ) going on walks in Nature and discussing dreams with my beloved…and then when the vibration is so expansive, so radiant and illuminated, dancing through every cell in my body. Then I focus into the horses. Channeling this highest vibration into our relationship and our creativity together. How wonderful it is to liberate any conditions, to release everything that could narrow our path forward. Allowing, expanding and opening all the possibilities. 

Another interesting idea that came to me.. why not tap into the energy of horses when they are already in a voluntary state of being. To align with it and divert it gracefully in a new direction. For example when they are bursting out into a new field, infused with joy and excitement. Or it could be those contented hay munching moments when everything is perfect with the world. Those gorgeous times when the herd feels unlimited, expressive and buoyant. When there is eagerness and desire, without tension and stress. And to tune into that vibrancy, that particular pattern of energy, and harvest it. 

This generous harvest can then be channeled directly into the energetic creation of your riding experience. Can you imagine! Your beloved comes joyfully to receive this moment with you. Relaxing himself to the softness and comfort of the saddle. Delicately lowering his head to receive the sacrament of the bridle. The bridle that is celebrated, revered and loved as the symbol of your mutual love. And the ease in which you discover the dynamic between your physical selves this day, gently following whichever path arises. Engaging, stretching and transforming you both into a physiological bliss which germinates thousands of seeds for future rendezvous.

energetic creation

This day Quaramba had a special loose hay treat. She was taking enormous, glorious mouthfuls and vibrating all over with the pleasure of it. She was deep in this moment of unlimited abundance.

As I started to connect more with her, and the idea to harvest this feeling recurred, I realised that she really gets it! she has actually chosen to be with me here. To be creating on this platform at this time.

She understands this… and the joy that comes from this thought takes us so high into togetherness. Now I am remember a confidence, a feeling of empowerment that comes from us being friends, agreeing with each other… being united energetically. She is letting me tune into her body, her back, her muscles.. I get a sense of me gripping too tight? And yet all is surrounded by such love and sunlight…I feel that I need to focus on me again.. on my sensitivity, and to trust in myself to listen. There is a gradual merging into oneness beyond the muscles and the physical.. into our full oneness.

Another idea came, to align their powerful desires for grooming into the riding vibration. It started with Marie. We were focusing on the bridle becoming an embodiment of the trust and love which arises through grooming. Then Rafi came forward which felt amazing, as he out of all the herd has experienced the most long term unawakened treatment from people, ending in a life or death situation for him. His endorsement felt so blessed.

It seemed that he wished to inspire the girls, especially Quaramba, and we became deeply attuned to the most exquisite vibration about voluntary riding. And this unfolded beautifully into sensations of the horses opening up physically. Their diaphragms loosening, TMJ releasing, skin breathing and muscles harmonising. I realised over again that we can create whatever we desire out of this glorious energetic flow. 

Energetic creation with Marie and Rafael

How fascinating it is to open yourself into being the horse. Can you imagine what this feels like… to be ridden? There could easily be a torrent of challenging and downright traumatic feelings associated. Feelings anyone would be unlikely to choose to tune into. The fear of being cross tied in a barn, unspent energy drumming through your central nervous system, clawing for a way out. Experiencing that cold, hard saddle wedging itself into the sore muscles in your back. Frustration, stress, anger.. trapped… and now the cold, unrelenting bit must be received as your jaw is forced to loosen. And the desire to explode.. to thrust all of that bubbling, boiling, acidic tension into your limbs and hurl yourself to freedom gradually fades as you yield into the fog of hopeless acceptance. Stumbling a little on sore knees.  

This kind of being-the-horse could be educational if such awakening were necessary, but you have likely realised already that this is no longer where you want to go. That even the possibility of imposing this scenario on your beloved horse friend is far behind you.

Why not allow that you can choose what you feel. You can choose what you believe and you can choose what you see around you. And in the choosing is the attraction itself.

Is it possible that imagining the most exquisite collaboration for your very own unique partnership could become it? Of course it is. We are the creators after all. The details of the unfolding are not important to know, only the content itself. We can do this.

Standing in my herd, rays of early sunlight stretching out across the pasture where we are standing in the dew. I am content. The warmth reaches my back and my coat flattens. I snort and stretch up high in my neck and long through my back and am suddenly lit up with joy. For being free, being together, being loved. Here comes the human girl, her love surround her like a shimmering bubble.. we all watch it. She feels happy and we let her in. Our joy aligns.

A memory comes of us together.. her weight was there, and such deep calm that the breath swirled into my lungs like golden mist. Limitless. Opening up my whole body into such a receptive, expansive field that there is no edge between us. And yet I feel her, somehow within, and we are moving in a way that is so easy, so graceful, infusing me with power and awe. We are gliding, and stretching… how expanded we are.

energetic creation

Naturally separating a horse from the herd is divisive, it heralds exposure and vulnerability. What if the sense of herd was not lost just because we left them physically? We could feel them coming with us, we could surround ourselves with the depth and rich power of their presence. Imagine how this would transform our experience together. To be supported and embraced in every moment, no longer apart from them.

The knowledge they were there would relax us. We would make assumptions, energetically, just as you do when you feel your seat belt on or your door locked at night. And beyond such fear orientated assumptions, you breathe and feel happy because we are all experiencing this together, our beloved herd, no one is left out or left behind. We are strong and courageous together, one united family. This is how it is meant to be.

Remember that this energetic creation is the root of who you are. The world around us… the shell… is made of all of the energetic creation that has already been happening in the past. We don’t have to accept it as our reality, our truth, our joy. We can go into our root, the deepest truth, and be, just be whatever we wish. 

Sometimes we experience patterns of resistance that we need to listen to. I think of this as the indirect technique in therapy. The direct technique is to focus purely on the bright light, the genuine truth of what is. The dark side does exist, however, to give us contrast. Trauma and suffering open up greater space for the peace and love and comfort that waits behind them. It is a delicate path to take as there is something within us that seems to attache on to darkness, that feels safer there. So that even though we have the choice to see light, it hurts our eyes. This could be because growth is uncomfortable, and it feels easier to stay stuck. It feels healthier to acknowledge resistance from a light filled place; maybe there is not enough perspective when you are already in the shadows.

I came to the summer barn one day and Quaramba was at the gate. She seemed excited to do something and I brought the cavesson. I noticed that I had quite a tight feeling of excitement, anxiety, potential, and it felt too charged, too encumbering… to take into doing.

We are going to go into this now, to focus into this. Quaramba is very calm now, and the herd is very gentle. The pattern is held in me, in my diaphragm. I don’t know if I’m channeling it from her perhaps, it makes my limbs feel, kind of weak, a bit like a trauma. We are going to tune into the herd, they’re very soft today… steady…patient. Just feeling a strain now, dragging down, Quaramba’s coming close, it makes it difficult to breathe, I can feel the, like a tube, down below my diaphragm… it’s heavy, Aimée’s come close… just showing this to the herd… feeling of being cradled by them…

Aimée is coming to paw again, she’s putting her lips on my head, telling me to be me again, to bring myself in, my energy, to feel it intermingling with her energy. As I feel me, I feel the tension rising, the tightness. I can feel the way it pauses things, like a finger pressing down on a running tape. I can feel the way it blocks the flow, it’s hard to breathe even. Now the herd is very still and there’s a sense of the flow, I can feel the flow, like the wind, streaming, beautiful, shimmering colours, so fast.

Now the strain is loosening, softening, and it feels like I can breathe deeply, Quaramba breaths deeply as well alongside, and Aimée just pressed her chest into me, hugging me. She is such gentle embracing love, so powerful, so compassionate. I can feel my child, my joyous inner child, is.. liberated? and I feel tiredness now, a comfortable tiredness. Just checking, scanning for the tension, for the tightness, can feel the trace of it.. it’s no longer incapacitating. And now I am aware of energy coming into my limbs, galvanising but gentle, that precise, findingthe-still point energy. Aimée keeps hugging into me, she feels so strong, a mountain that you can dissolve everything into. I let everything go.. it feels perfect now, perfect. And celebrating these beings, the magnificence of these God beings. Quaramba is in a deep, deep rest.. thank you. 

And in some mysterious, yet perfect way, the acknowledgment of choice unfolded into accepting what is. And the discovery that within the acceptance, the opening, the receiving is an innate goodness, a wellbeing that instructs each moment. I discovered what this meant when I invited the herd to come in the arena again.

Just to feel good about everything, without conditions, without expectations, was such a discovery. Everyone was having fun the way they do.. exploring, rolling, picking out some tasty treats from the edge. Then out of nowhere Honey came to see me at the mounting block. She was full of such expectancy, in a fun, eager way, that I realised she was asking to ‘do’ something together. 

healing trauma

One day I was having that familiar and disheartening sense of not experiencing life fully. Somehow missing out and not being able to catch up, to accomplish, to achieve. Then it came to me: You can choose what you see. It is up to you what you are experiencing. Right now I can listen to the birds. Wow.. how come I hadn’t heard how adorable and delightful their songs were and the chittering of the redstarts. In this moment I can choose to feel happy about so many things, down to the most simple that are still pretty amazing. I am able to go to a drawer and get something out, to be comfortable with a cup of coffee or seek out the company of the horses. I don’t even need to move at all to find something marvellous to see.

Wow, so miraculous! she was so ‘forward’, so voluntary! I put the bridle on and asked if she wanted to come with me round the arena. She hesitated as if she wasn’t sure what she wanted. We went together where there is some grass and waited. I felt this opportunity profoundly, knowing that this is when I can feel joy, and I felt it, such an amplified, expansive joy.

This joy is who we are. We don’t need to react to an analysis of our achievements. I took the bridle off and later on she did exactly the same thing and we felt the same joy. She wanted to return to that delicious moment of possibility, like a springboard, and feel what it might be like to jump, or choose not to. To know that whatever she chose, she is loved so deeply. How she can be a creator too, and how glorious that is. 

energetic creation
Joyful times in the arena

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