The answers are always within ourselves. Everything that happens in the external world is a ripple, an echo, a reflection of what is happening in the energetic world. The energetic world is who we are. We only reach into the physical world for a time. Becoming aware of this is the same as becoming aware of our body. Where the spirit becomes biology. 

always within

Since Gabrielle’s accident I have been looking after her horses. Getting to know them better again, and offering them my attention and presence. Every time I meet a horse, it highlights what the relationship truly is. Some horses have a sense in their skin that human touch is not loving.

Is it a memory or simply a lack of something that has not been created yet? Some horses seem to have a barrier in their mind because they feel their boundaries are not heard. It instantly changes when the boundary is acknowledged.. was it a natural protection or an experience? 

I feel that the relationship is a living dynamic. It grows like a plant, and flowers when it is ready. It gives back fruit. When I returned to my herd last week, Honey and Quaramba stayed back in the summer barn with me, and I could feel them accessing my tension.

I was tired and a bit stressed about everything I had to do, and they were taking turns to draw that tension out, like a toxin. Every few minutes I would yawn and breathe more deeply and feel deeper peace always within. What a gift they were giving, and when they felt it was enough, Honey left and after a last cuddle Quaramba also followed the herd. 

always within

These energetic sessions with Gaby were during the time she was moving from the hospital to the new re-education centre. It was a time of excitement that everything was going so well, her unexpected autonomy in terms of breathing and eating. There was also the unknown, and the apprehension that can bring. These are the times it is so important to remember that the answers are always within ourselves. Outside challenges are only reflecting the inner growth.

Starting to feel a compression between the right shoulder and spine, whole length of thoracic spine beside shoulder feeling tight. Going deeper into T6 vertebra and then focusing on one small area, felt like where the spinal nerves come out of the spinal cord at the back. Long time supporting this, crystals at a very singular, pure vibration. Finally moving into similar single place at T11 and then moving up to T1 and sense of longer part of the spinal cord through Gaby’s neck. Shift in her orientation every time i.e at shoulder it was above her, T6 and T11 was below and then T1 vertical. Not so much release as attuning today.

Thursday the 30th July

Feeling Gaby sitting in the chair and being aware of her lumbar spine. Having the idea to bring/transfer/connect her with the energy here at my home. First from Mother Willow, the huge weeping willow tree who is an incredible spiritual guide and healer. I was not aware of anything but the idea to do this and that it was happening. Then I felt Gaby’s thoracic spine and another idea to transfer the ancient forest wisdom that is here. At some point I felt Gaby standing in the room, and her neck and the back of her head, and the energetic transfer involved my herd of horses who were snorting and blowing outside the window here. She is still standing..energetically.. and I heard the words come to me ‘resurrection of form’… there was a lot happening today that I was only very vaguely aware of, as if I was a channel or a messenger who could not see the message, only understand what I had to do.

Friday the 31st of July

Straight into base of skull/atlantobasilar junction. Feeling lack of connection from there and upper neck. Deep into energetic connection where there are other dimensions coming in..people, ideas.. always staying with the disconnect, crystals (ametrine and carnelian in strong engagement) disconnection changing into sense of the bones, the spinal column being heavy and awkward, the spinal cord weak, gradual integration of bones, feeling more dynamic and then rapid infusion of connection.. everything coming alive, bone, ligaments, nerves, membranes, all together as one fluid integration. Feeling spinal cord at C3 special focus, particular damage healing, like a horizontal cut. Gaby’s orientation was above/vertical on the bed and changed to sideways/horizontal.

Sunday the 2nd of August

Feeling Gaby in the chair, aware that I am outside of the room, or inside a cupboard, I can’t approach her, there is something between us blocking. I can only feel her head physically, all of the cranial bones feel solid and tight, like a shell.. can’t sense inside. After a while she is on the bed again, I suddenly feel myself going upwards.. into energy? I am above her.. there is so much chaos around her. After a while I realise I can only sense the machines, not her. They feel one dimensional, buzzing on a single vibration.

Then Gaby is back in the chair.. it is not easy to follow the process, but I can feel her again and inside her head, I feel closer to her, just outside and gradually able to go deeper, I can only feel the very centre of her head, there has been a feeling like there wants to be a flow, a rhythm, throughout, but it doesn’t quite initiate itself. This central point has a light in it, an energy, and it is also stuck, tight, hard in some way. I still feel that there is an issue with our connection.. I feel I can only reach her by travelling through energy, yet it is not guided, it feels unstable.

Monday the 3rd of August 
always within

This was the time when Gaby was being disconnected from the life support machines at the hospital. She had been aware of the resource they represented, and how that was becoming a dependency. The hospital staff were aware of this possibility, and finding the moment when someone is able to support themselves.

She moved to the re-education centre at Saint-Blancard, and it was a difficult transition. There was a different atmosphere at this centre, a kind of stagnancy, and a sense of having been abandoned here in a backwater. 

Idea came to energetically cleanse the room at the centre: first the room connected  with the sea where Thumbelina lives, and then was invited into Mother Willow’s inner forest. Then there was a light of such high vibration that everything was white, it was incredibly bright, for several minutes and then it shifted to focus on a darkness pattern around the bed. When that dissolved into the light I saw large brown/brindle dogs in the room. Some kind of guardians of the bed. After that the room was transported to a magical place, high up on a mountain, it was a garden on the edge of a world, The view was incredible… right off the edge of the foot of the bed.

There were butterflies in the trees and plants where the head of the bed is. After that the crystals still hadn’t finished, they were going deeper and deeper into an engagement and it was hard to understand, focusing on the middle of the bed, then it came to me, they were opening a portal. It felt like a black hole, very powerful, and at some point some delicate beings came out.. they were extremely delicate, made of golden light, yet they were quite shadowy, part of the shadows. They felt very gentle. There was a long intense concentration from the crystals and I felt they were cleansing the portal itself and then suddenly I felt a great creature there, of elephant energy, a matriarch. She was the guardian of the portal. Guardian in the sense that her energy would only vibrate with light.

Wednesday the 5th of August 

First connected with Ca va, and vision/sense picture of cutting plastic film that is around her lungs.. just making a little cut so the seal was broken, then same vision of cutting plastic film around Gaby‘s bed. 

Thursday the 6th of August 

After this was the weekend that Ca va chose to step out of her physical body. Gabrielle talked of how her bed had felt dark with some kind of negativity. Soon after she was given a new bed. Every time we feel overwhelmed by what might being happening in the external world, going always within acknowledges and engages with the source, and reestablishes peace. Looking back it is easy to see the way the tapestry weaves itself so beautifully. 

Making a video for Gaby with Djinnie

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